There comes a moment— not loud, but seismic— when your soul stirs from it’s slumber.

You wake up, not in your bed, but in your spirit.

And the things you once ran toward now make you flinch. What used to soothe now stings. What used to fit now feels foreign.

It begins quietly. You withdraw. You cry for no reason. You can’t laugh at the same jokes or enjoy any of the songs you once got lost in.

You can’t scroll mindlessly anymore.

You feel raw and burdened by exposure— like God peeled back a layer of your flesh and is now breathing directly on your heart.

And the world doesn’t understand.

They say, “You’ve changed,” and you have.

Not because you’re rebelling— but because you’re resurrecting.

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When Awakening Looks Like Falling Apart

No one tells you that spiritual awakening often masquerades as a breakdown. That before your spirit can rise, your illusions must crumble.

You start to question things you’ve always accepted:

Why do I feel like I don’t belong?

Why do I constantly chase approval from the wrong crowd?

Why do I say I trust God, but panic when life begins to shake?

Who am I? Why am I here?

What is the purpose of all of this— of life?

And then it hits you— you’ve been sleepwalking through your faith, repeating scriptures without letting them pierce, performing righteousness without intimacy, wearing the armor of God like a costume, not a covering.

But the Spirit of God has issued a wake up call.

“Awake, O Sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

– Ephesians 5:14

This is not punishment. It’s a holy interruption, a resurrection of the soul.

It’s God flipping the lights on.

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The Loneliness of Being Spiritually Awake in a Sleeping World

When you wake up, you’ll grieve.

Not just what you’ve lost— but what you no longer desire.

Your tolerance for shallow things will vanish. You’ll try to explain this hunger, this ache, to those around you, but many won’t get it or even try to understand.

Even believers.

Even the ones who claim to walk with God.

Because spiritual awakening doesn’t always come with church claps and worship songs. Sometimes, it comes in the form of exile— where God draws you out to draw you deeper.

Just like Jesus was often misunderstood. Even His disciples wrestled to comprehend His words.

“How can a man be born when he is old?” Nicodemus asked.

– John 3:4

Because even then, spiritual rebirth was considered strange.

Too mystical. Too impractical. Too holy to make sense.

But wait— isn’t that how God works?

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The Shedding That Saves You

Spiritual awakening costs you.

It costs comfort. It costs community. It costs reputation.

It costs every idol you ever subconsciously built with your own hands.

But the reward is holy. The clarity is soul-deep.

You begin to hear God in the silence. You begin to see Him in the breakdown. You begin to feel conviction, not as shame— but as surgery.

And slowly, gently, He tears the veil. He peels back the lies. The false identities. The spiritual laziness. The fear.

He makes room in you for truth.

“Do not be conformed in this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

– Romans 12:2

Transformation requires letting go of everything that once defined you— including the version of yourself that played church but didn’t truly know the Father.

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God is in the Unraveling

This unraveling is not chaos. It is order, hidden in mystery.

God is not afraid of your confusion. He is not distant from your detachment. He’s the One who stirred the discomfort in the first place.

Why?

Because He wants to make your spirit a dwelling place, not just a pit stop.

The Spirit of God doesn’t just awaken you to shake you. He awakens you to restore you.

You are not losing your mind. You are gaining your soul.

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If You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart.. You Might Be Waking Up

So, if you find yourself weeping with no words…

pulling away from shallow company…

asking questions you never dared to before…

hungry for silence more than noise…

tender toward Scripture in a way you never used to be…

Take heart.

You are not backsliding. You are becoming.

You are not crazy. You are being called.

You are not broken. You are breaking open.

You are waking up.

And Heaven is rejoicing.

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Reflection:

What is God trying to awaken in me that I’ve been taught to ignore?